


Aftermath

by prepare4trouble



Category: Sanctuary (TV)
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-01-14
Updated: 2009-01-14
Packaged: 2017-10-31 16:54:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/346354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prepare4trouble/pseuds/prepare4trouble
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of conversations between Henry and Will following the events of Edward and Warriors.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Will recovers from the events of Warriors, Henry checks up on him.

Being trapped in bed was never an enjoyable experience, but at least if it had been his own bed there would be things around for him to be doing. But Dr. Magnus had insisted he stayed in the infirmary rather than go back to his own room because she wanted to keep an eye on him. You could never be too careful with heard injuries, she said. But apart from a bit of a headache, Henry was fine, bored, and desperate to escape. It didn't feel safe to be trapped here, not when he might change at any minute. Will was there, he didn't want to hurt him.

At that thought, he half smiled. Right now, the chances of him being able to hurt Will even if he wanted to were pretty slim. True, Will hadn't gone up against the wolf, but the power with which he had thrown him to the ground made Henry think that given the opportunity, he would have made short work of him in whatever form. Well, if he hadn't been able to remind him of who he really was, that is.

Henry sat on the edge of his bed, legs dangling over the edge. He stared at the curtain surrounding the other bed. Behind it, Will was hidden from view. Magnus was treating him, somehow, but beyond that he didn't know. Was it working? Did they expect him to recover fully? Concern mixed with curiosity overrode his desire to respect Will's privacy, and he slid himself off of the bed, landing barefoot on the cool floor. He silently padded a few steps over to the curtain, then took a deep breath and released it slowly before saying, “Will? Are you awake in there?”

Without waiting for a response, he pulled the curtain open a few inches and stuck his head inside. Will was propped up in bed, his back leaning against several pillows, staring into nothing. He looked exactly as he had when Henry had last seen him. At the sound of the curtain opening, Will turned towards him for half a second, before jerking his head in the opposite direction.

“Hey,” Henry said, noting with some relief that he wasn't restrained any more. That had to be a good sign. “How're you doing?”

The creature that used to be Will shrugged, still looking away from him. “Well, I can think again. Just about.” His voice still sounded wrong, but it was a relief that the words at least sounded like the man he had come to know.

Henry took a few steps closer, bringing himself inside the confines of the curtained area, “That's good,”

Will ran his fingers down the side of his face, feeling the unfamiliar shape of his changed appearance, “Is it, though?”

Henry frowned, “Well, call me weird if you like, but I'm going to say yeah. The ability to form coherent words is probably pretty important in your line of work. Also, not trying to kill people might be a good thing too.”

Will turned towards him for a moment and winced, “Sorry about that,”

“Don't worry about it,” Henry shrugged, “Like I told you at the time, it wasn't you. You weren't in control of your actions.” He noticed that Will still wasn't looking at him. His gaze flicked from the floor to the bed sheets, to the curtain, to anything that wasn't Henry. “Hey,” he added, “you're going to be okay, right? Change back into yourself?”

Will nodded slowly, “Dr Magnus thinks so, but she can't be sure yet. But it looks promising, she says,”

“That's great. She wouldn't say that it there wasn't a really good chance. She's not into false hope, much as I've sometimes wished she was.”

If it was possible, Will's face turned even further away than before.

Henry hesitated, “Will, you don't have to avoid looking at me. I've seen much worse, believe me. I only have to look in the mirror some days and I see much worse. And you're going to be fine. I know it.”

Will turned to face, him, looking him directly in the eye. Without warning, a change seemed to come over him, his eyes narrowed in anger, “And you're disappointed about that, aren't you?”

“What? Of course not! How petty do you think I am. I'm pleased. I mean, I'm jealous as all hell, but happy. For you.”

Will shook his head, his whole demeanor seemed to have changed, even his scent became different. “Liar! You don't want me to get better. You want me to stay like this, so you won't be the only one!”

Henry took a step backwards, “That's not true!” His hands balled into fists as he fought down a surge of anger at the fact that Will, that anyone, could think that of him. “Anyway, what do you mean the only one? Have you looked around this place recently? Normals are in the minority, I'm far from alone.” But he knew he was. In that he hadn't and couldn't bring himself to accept what was happening to him. The Sanctuary was full of people who were very happy with who and what they were. And then there was Henry, desperately trying, but failing, to be comfortable inside his own skin. And in a way, Will was right. He didn't want Will to remain a monster, but he didn't want to be alone.

“I'm sorry,” Will was still facing him, the expression on his misshapen face a mixture of horror and embarrassment, “Of course you don't think that! I don't know why I... My mind must not be as back to normal as I thought. Henry, I'm so sorry,”

He went back to looking away, and fell silent.

Henry stared at him, trying to come up with a response, “Don't worry about it. Look, you probably need your rest, so I'm going to leave you to it.”

Will nodded and Henry stepped back behind the curtain. He raised his hand to draw it closed again, but hesitated, “Will, look, you're scared. I get it, believe me I do. But I don't want you to think I wanted this to happen to you. What's going on with me, I wouldn't wish it in anyone, least of all you. I'm sorry you even had to have a taste of it.”

Will didn't reply, he waited until he heard the curtain close before turned his head. He reached out to a small table next to the bed and picked up a mirror that he had insisted be left there. As he brought it up to his face, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He tried to open his eyes, but found that they wouldn't do what he wanted. Defeated by his own subconscious, unable to bring himself to look, he put down the mirror and opened his eyes.

As he did, Henry leaped back quickly from the tiny gap he had left in the curtains before he was seen and hopped back up onto his own bed. His head was pounding now much worse than before. He closed his eyes against the pain and wished, harder than he had ever wished for anything before, that Will would be okay.


	2. Coffee and Sympathy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fully recovered now, Will tries to apologize to Henry. Henry wishes he wouldn't.

There were moments, usually lasting no more than a couple of seconds, a minute at the most, where Henry began to believe that he might have made the right decision about the surgery. These moments were few and far between. They punctuated the hours of terror where nightmare thoughts about what was happening to him clawed at the outside of his sanity like a hungry wolf threatening to break through, break down the walls and leave him a panic stricken wreck sobbing on the ground. They kept him from changing his mind, for the time being. And for that, he hated them.

He glanced across the room at Will Zimmerman, sitting at a desk flicking idly through a research paper while a cup of coffee went cold on the desk beside him. The young doctor no longer showed any outward signs of the transformation that had altered his mind and body, turning him into a mindless thug, a creature created only to fight. The difference between his real and transformed selves had been so striking that when he had seen him, Henry had barely been able to believe that he was looking at the same man. 

If it hadn't been such a horrible experience, the irony of the situation would almost have been enough to make him laugh. The days, the weeks spent worrying about the possibility of hurting a friend while out of control in his transformed state, and it had almost been Will who ended up dealing with the reality of Henry's worst fear. As he ran into the ring that day, the only thought running through Henry's head had been to protect the other man from that. The physical changes had healed now, but Henry knew that inside there would already be so much to process, to think that he had done something like that, whether he had been in control or not, would almost certainly have destroyed him.

Sensing the eyes on him, Will looked up. Henry glanced away a second too late, “What?”

Henry shook his head, “What, what?”

Will shrugged and took a sit of his coffee, winced and surreptitiously spat it back into the mug.

“That good, is it?”

“Sorry, didn't mean to be disgusting, I just can't stand cold coffee,” Will smiled self consciously and pushed the mug away.

Henry nodded, “Me either. Besides, it's not the worst thing I've seen you do recently.” He regretted the words the instant they left his mouth, and even more as he watched Will's expression change. He honestly had no intention of saying that, it just came out. One of these days he'd have to learn to think before he spoke. By way of an apology, he got to his feet, “Want another cup? I'm getting a bit dry myself,”

“Sure.” Will pushed the mug in his direction and Henry grabbed it and fled.

Once outside the room in the safety of solitude, he stopped, slumped slightly against the wall and closed his eyes. “Stupid,” he muttered to himself. He walked as quickly as he could to the kitchen and busied himself making the drink. That comment had come from another part of himself that he was ashamed to admit existed, the part not so deep down that didn't feel as bad about what had happened as he thought he should. It was petty, he knew that, but every time he had seen Will play the part of Mister understanding, Mister I-know-what-you're-going-through, with Sanctuary inhabitants and guests, that little stab of irritation had flared up.

Henry made the coffee, focusing on what he was doing, steadfastly ignoring any other thoughts that attempted to push their way into his head. It was something he had become used to doing recently, squashing down unwanted thoughts and feelings and concentrating instead on the task at hand. It worked well, until there was nothing left to do, then he lay alone in bed desperately trying to remain in control.

But that would come later. For now he sighed, buried the thoughts as deep down as he could manage and carried the two warm drinks back to the other room.

Will barely looked up as he placed the mug next to him on the desk. Henry walked away, deciding to find somewhere else to be for the moment, but before he could reach the door Will turned around. “Henry, wait a minute.”

Henry frowned, but paused and turned to face him.

“I need to talk to you. About the things I said in the infirmary, when I was... sick,”

“It doesn't matter,” Henry said quickly. “How many times do you need me to tell you you weren't yourself?”

Will shook his head, “Probably a few more, I'm still not sure you're completely right about that. But it doesn't matter. I still want to tell you that I didn't mean it.” He spoke hesitantly, with an uncertainty that made Henry's heart lurch, “Now I'm thinking properly again, I just want you to know that I'm sorry.”

Henry sighed and sat himself back down. “Please stop apologizing. I'm not exactly the innocent victim here. You weren't as wrong about me as you seem to think.” And there it was again, his mouth running away with him before the words had chance to filter through his brain. As he spoke, the initial horror at what he had confessed was quickly soothed by a feeling of relief, as though he had finally let go of something heavy that he had been carrying around.

“Meaning what?”

Relief changed into panic and Henry looked at the other man, trying to figure out what he was thinking. On the surface, he sounded conversational, as though he was just having a chat with a friend, but on the other, did he detect a hint of hostility underneath? He wouldn't have blamed him if he did.

He took a deep breath. There was no going back now, he was going to have to either finish what he had started or avoid Will for the rest of his life. “Okay, that might have sounded bad. Look, don't take this the wrong way. I'm not proud of it, okay? But much as I'm glad you're yourself again, part of me is pleased it happened. Because, well, now you get it, don't you?” 

Will didn't reply, he sat and waited for Henry to continue.

But Henry couldn't. The words wouldn't come. He knew what he wanted to say. That until now, the psychologist had no idea what it had like. That unless he was hiding an abnormality of his own somewhere underneath those boyish good looks, he couldn't possibly know how it felt to be so different from everyone else. He couldn't know what it was like to feel as though the world had been pulled out from under you as you were betrayed by your own DNA, your own body. Well, now he did. Now maybe he would think twice before telling people he knew what was best for them. Or at least his advice wold come from a new position of understanding, actual understanding, backed up by the memory of the lack of control, of the horror of looking in the mirror and not recognizing your own reflection. Shit. He felt bad even thinking these things, he couldn't say them.

“You _get_ it,” he repeated, folding his arms across his body in a subconscious signal of insecurity and willing the other man to understand.

Will nodded, “Yeah,” his voice cracked. Just slightly, but Henry heard it, “Yeah, I do,”

Henry ran a hand through his hair and edged his chair slightly closer so that he could lower his voice, “Don't go thinking I'm gloating or whatever though. I'm sorry it happened, but looking back, now you've recovered and everything, all I mean is that it might not have been the worst thing in the world.”

“It's certainly given me a new perspective on some things,” Will's voice sounded steady on the surface, but Henry still detected a hint of emotion underneath. “But all things considered, it's an experience I could have done without,”

“Yeah,” Henry whispered. He looked away, unable to maintain eye contact, suppressing the urge to move closer still.

“When I realized what they'd done to me, what was about to happen to me, I thought...” Will's lips turned upwards into a strained imitation of a smile, “I thought about you.”

“Me?”

“But when it started, when I started to change, do you know what I said?”

Henry shrugged, “Hulk smash?”

“I asked how I looked. Ridiculous, isn't it? The first thing I worried about was my appearance. I never knew I was that vain.”

“You learn a lot about yourself when you're faced with turning into someone else. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about.” Henry took another sip of his coffee, before he forced his eyes to meet Will's and asked, “Do you, y'know, want to talk about it?”

Will half smiled and shook his head, “Isn't that supposed to be my job?”

“Can't analyze yourself. Not like you can go to anyone outside either, is it? You'd end up getting yourself committed. Look, if you ever do, you just have to ask. I've got a good idea what it was like, and I know you're probably still a bit freaked about it. And by the way, that choice of words? Completely deliberate.”

The smile following that was completely full and genuine, he nodded, “I'll bear that in mind. And if you ever want to talk about your own situation, I'm always available.”

Henry shook his head, “I've got it covered, but thanks.” He grinned as he got to his feet, “Hey, I was thinking of watching a movie tonight if you want to join me. I rented the Incredible Hulk.”

“Hilarious,” Will deadpanned, but as Henry left he room he laughed. And if he could laugh about it, he knew he was going to be okay. Eventually.


	3. Dropping By

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Will recovers from the events of Warriors, Henry checks up on him.

Will thought often about his life before he came to the Sanctuary. It had been easier, in a way. Not the work, as such, though despite the nature of his job, it had been much less dangerous. Before he came here, he had existed in two separate worlds, he had had a job, and he had had a life. Two separate entities that mixed only rarely with an invite to dinner at a colleagues home or running into someone he knew on his day off. It had been normal.

This, he thought, looking around the room, was anything but normal. On the computer screen in front of him were endless files on creatures – people – with abilities that until recently he never would have dreamed were possible outside of a science fiction movie. 

Even putting aside for the moment that aspect of his work, his entire lifestyle, his entire life had changed when he came here. There were no boundaries any more. No work/life balance. No way to draw a line under a bad day and just go home and forget about it. It was strange, but strange came with the job description. Life at the Sanctuary was different from anything he had ever experienced before, but he was getting used to it.

Right now though, he was getting bored. He got to his feet and stretched. It was time for a break.

***

Henry didn't bother to look up as he heard Will open the door and enter the room. He was aware of him standing just inside the door, apparently just watching him. The smell of freshly brewed coffee filtered through the room. Henry tried to concentrate on what he was doing, his new weapon was nearly ready, but the audience was off-putting. He put his latest toy down on the desk, “If you're going to stand there staring at me, the least you can do is say hi,”

He swiveled around on his chair to look as Will, who smiled, “Hey. Sorry, you looked so intent, I thought I'd wait. You heard me?”

“You're not exactly Mr. Stealthy. You weren't _trying_ to sneak up on me, were you? Because I gotta tell you, trying to make me jump isn't the best idea right now.”

“Just didn't want to disturb you,” Will took a few steps towards the desk, set down two mugs of coffee and pushed one towards Henry. He looked over the contents of the desk, “What is that?”

Henry grinned, “It'd spoil the surprise if I told you. You'll have to wait and see. It's pretty cool. Or I hope it will be, if it works.” He paused for a second, the excitement was clearly evident in his body language, “You want to try it out? I think it's ready, just working out a few bugs.”

Will grimaced, “I think I'll wait until the bugs are gone, thanks. Anyway, if I get to try it before Ashley, I think she might kill me. Literally.”

“Good point,” Henry looked a little disappointed and Will almost changed his mind, until the other man seemed to shake off the emotion and replace it with another smile, “Well, if you didn't come here for the cool toys, it must be the company.”

Will reached down and picked up some other unidentifiable piece of equipment, he spun it around in his hand, looking at it from all angles, “I just needed a break,” he said, “you were the nearest person.”

Henry fiddled tightened a screw in the handle of the gun and turned to face him, “Great, that's really flattering Will, thanks.”

“That's not what I meant. I just thought I'd come and see if you were busy. I brought coffee.” He pushed the untouched mug a little closer.

Henry put the gun down on the workbench and sighed, “Is this something to do with last night?” he asked.

“Last night?” Will frowned in confusion and Henry's eyes widened in panic as he realized he had made a mistake. “What happened last night?” he asked.

Henry's eyes drifted away from his own, staring instead at his own hands on the workbench. “Nothing,” he said, “nothing important, anyway. I just thought you might have heard something... Forget about it, okay?”

In response, Will sat himself down next to Henry. Henry's body visibly stiffened. “I know you're working through things with Dr. Magnus, but if there's anything you want to talk about, you just have to ask.” At Henry's lack of response, he pushed forward, “How've you been recently. Any better?”

Henry turned to face him, somehow managing to smile and frown at the same time, “Better like I've managed to stop turning into a monster, or..?”

“I meant more whether you've come any closer to gaining some control over... the other side of your personality.”

“Interesting euphemism.”

Will took a sip of his coffee and glanced away.

“No, not really”

The reply hung heavily in the air as Will battled against an uncharacteristic bout of hesitancy. He hadn't meant to initiate this conversation. He hadn't planned for it, and although he knew that it shouldn't be difficult, he was struggling to find the right words. He lifted his glasses up and rubbed his eyes quickly. “Not really? Does that mean you've had some?”

Henry shook his head, “Wow, you've got a funny idea of what taking a break means. But yeah, okay, we were bound to end up doing this sooner or later.” He stared into his drink as he spoke, “I'm getting better at holding it back, I think. But it's difficult. When I'm angry, when I'm stressed, scared, that's when it tries to get out.” He took another sip of his drink and closed his eyes, “Trouble is, the whole situation's pretty stressful in itself, so that doesn't help much,”

Will nodded, “There's a state of mind we call anticipatory anxiety. It happens sometimes when people suffer from anxiety, just worrying that they are going to have an attack one can set one off. It's not exactly the same thing, obviously this is something much more extreme, but the principal might be the same.”

“Maybe.” Henry shrugged and looked at him. Will noticed the sheen of sweat on the other man's brow. “You know, when I decided against the surgery, it was party because I wanted to see if anything good would come of this, and partly because I didn't want to wind up brain damaged. But if I'm honest, as much as I'm starting to accept it, there are still times when I just wish it would go away.”

“You're not thinking of changing your mind about the surgery, are you?”

“No, no way. But it would be so much easier if I could just to go to sleep and wake up back to normal,”

“But you are normal. For you,”

Henry cracked a smile, “Yeah, that's kind of the problem, isn't it?” He waited for Will's reaction but when none came, he frowned. “Hey, are _you_ okay? You seem a bit, I dunno, distracted.”

Will sipped his coffee slowly and nodded, “I'm sorry, Henry. I shouldn't have started asking you about this, not at the moment.” He pushed his glasses further up his nose and tapped on the side of his mug with the back of one of his fingernails, “To be honest, I'm not finding this easy. I've had a lot of experience working with abnormals recently, but it's different talking to you because you're a friend. You're not supposed to be a doctor to your friends and family. Normally, I'd recommend a colleague.”

Henry shook his head, “Don't suppose you know anyone with the relevant experience?” He grinned.

“The memory of my own recent experiences aren't helping either,” Will admitted, “You were right when you told me that I understand it now. What it's like to have to deal with something like this. And it's making me have trouble remaining objective.”

Henry looked at him closely. Will looked so confused that Henry wished he knew the right thing to say. He reached across and tapped him briefly on the shoulder, “I'm fine, honestly, I'm dealing with it. I'm stating to see the upside, and Dr. Magnus is helping me. You don't need to keep doing this. We can just talk about normal things.”

Will nodded.

“Just so you know, though,” he added, “things are different here. It's not like other jobs, we're a family. A strange one, to be sure, but that's still what we are. And like it or not, you're a part of it now. You shouldn't have to be objective with family. ”

“I'm beginning to realize that,” Will told him, “And it's a very different to any experience to anything I've ever done before.” 

“In a good or a bad way?”

“Good,” Will paused, “but it's confusing too.”

The corners of Henry's mouth twitched upwards, “I know confusing.”

Without even realizing what he was doing, Henry edged himself a little closer to Will. As soon as he noticed what he had done, he knew that Will, despite giving no outward sign, had seen. Will seemed to notice everything. The talent was no doubt useful to the psychologist, but Henry wondered whether he knew how annoying it could be sometimes.

He breathed in, slowly but deeply, taking in the other man's scent. He was new at this, still trying to work out the meanings behind subtle changes in scent that he was starting to notice. If, one day, he was able to understand them fully, that would be a useful and probably slightly annoying talent of his own. For now, though, all he detected was that there had been a subtle change that could mean anything.

“Henry?”

“Yep?” Henry leaned back quickly, putting a little more distance between the two of them.

“Have you...” Will hesitated for a fraction of a second, “have you ever tried to allow the wolf to surface deliberately?”

Henry stared at him as though he had gone insane, “Maybe I'm missing something, but I thought that might get in the way of the 'trying not to hurt people' part of my life plan.”

“Hear me out, okay? You're fighting it as every turn, holding it back, drugging it into submission, is it any wonder that it's fighting to surface? When it does break through, it struggles so hard for control that it takes it away from you.”

Before he had finished speaking, Henry was already shaking his head from side to side, “No,”

“No to what?”

“No to everything! I don't think it works like that, and anyway I can't do it, I couldn't take the risk.” Henry rubbed his hands up and down his arms as though warding off a none-existent chill in the air. “Dr Magnus said something similar, and I told her the same thing. No.”

Will nodded, he understood the reluctance. The idea of giving up control was a terrifying one in any circumstances, but this was a more extreme example than most people would ever be faced with. He could imagine the thoughts running through Henry's head, the possibility that someone would get hurt, that he would hurt someone. “We could find a safe place, somewhere where there's no danger of you getting out into the Sanctuary.”

“That's not what I'm worried about,” Henry told him.

“It's not?”

“I mean...” Henry shook his head, “Yeah, obviously I am worried about that, but I didn't think you were suggesting doing it right now. I figured you'd take precautions.” He sighed and looked away, “I'm worried that if I give up control, I won't be able to get it back.”

Will reached out a hand and placed it on Henry's arm. The muscles there were tense, the tension ran through his whole body, visible in the expression on his face and in the slight tremor underneath his skin, “You will,” he assured him, “I'll help you,”

Henry nodded, “I know you will... would, but I just can't.”

The look in his eyes pleaded Will to change the subject, and he complied. “If you ever change your mind...”

“I won't.”

Will let the matter drop. Henry would come around eventually, no one could continue under that amount of stress indefinitely. If anything he was placing himself in more danger by suppressing the wolf than by letting it free. Will decided to complete his research before he raised the subject again, and in the meantime, to be a friend. “Are we still on for movie night tonight?” he asked

Some of the tension dropped from Henry's body and he smiled, “You know it,” he said, “My turn to choose the movie, I'm not going to miss that.”

Will shook his head, but smiled back, “Why does that sound vaguely ominous?”

Henry shrugged, “Hey, my movies are good. Alright, I've got a gun to test out. You sure you don't want to help?”

“Another time, maybe,” Will lied.

“Suit yourself. I'll get Ash.” Henry waited for a few moments before he turned to fully face Will, “Say, erm, Will? Any chance I could have my arm back. You know, if you're done using it?”

Will realized with a start that his hand was still gripping Henry's arm, the fingers curving around the shape of his muscles, holding him fairly firmly in place. Will blushed and let go, “Sorry,” he murmured, looking away.

Henry just grinned, “Don't forget the popcorn tonight. I'll see you later.” With that, he picked up the prototype weapon and left, leaving Will watching him go.

Yes, there was no disputing the fact that life at the Sanctuary was different from anything he had ever experienced before, but he seemed to have traded in normality for something infinitely better, and that was no bad thing at all.


	4. Set Free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will tries to help Henry communicate better with the wolf, Henry tries to let him.

There was something about this part of the Sanctuary that Will didn't like. It had never bothered him at first, at least not since after his first encounter with the place. Recent experiences though – his own transformation into something out of control, as well as what was happening with Henry – had made him reconsider. The creatures that were housed here were the most dangerous, the ones that couldn't be trusted anywhere else. And Will couldn't help but wonder whether they had always been like that, or whether something had changed.

The room was empty, containing nothing but one wooden chair that Will had liberated from a storeroom. The rooms were kept empty until they were needed, it was easier that way to customize them as and when necessary. This one wouldn't need any customization, its occupant wouldn't be there long enough to worry about the decor.

Will stepped inside the room and looked around. The Sanctuary wasn't a prison, but there were some things that were simply too dangerous to be allowed to roam free. Nonetheless, the idea of being trapped frightened him, and he left the room much more quickly than he entered.

“Ready?” He asked the other man, who was leaning against the wall opposite the door, looking as though he were deciding whether to run.

Henry closed his eyes and took a deep breath. His arms were wrapped so far around his own body that he wasn't so much folding them as actually hugging himself. “No,” he replied.

“If you don't want to do this, you don't have to. Or if you want to leave it a few days until we can tell Magnus about it, we can do that.”

“No,” Henry took a reluctant step closer to the door, “I'd rather not tell her about it until we know how it goes. I don't want any more of an audience than necessary. Lets just get it over with, okay?” He took another deep breath and released it slowly, then strode forward purposefully and entered the cell.

Will tried to suppress the feeling that they were sneaking around behind Helen's back. Henry was, after all, an adult. He had the right to make his own decisions. Although in this case, Will suspected that Helen might disagree. Inside the cell, Henry turned around and nodded to Will, who closed and locked the door behind him. “Are you okay?” His voice came over the intercom, the walls and door were too thick to allow sound to penetrate.

“Oh, yeah.” Will noticed Henry's breathing rate had increased as the door closed. “Great. Can't think of anything I'd rather be doing on a Saturday afternoon.” 

Will chose to ignore the sarcasm. He watched Henry for a few moments as he paced quickly up and down the room, eying the locked door with something like distrust. Will wondered whether his discomfort came from the idea of being locked in, or of what would happen if he were to get out. The door was strong. The shoe was designed to keep things in. It shouldn't be a problem. He hoped.

“Okay Henry. You need to relax. Stop pacing, sit down.”

Henry did as he asked, sitting on the chair that Will had placed in the center of the room. He smiled nervously, “I knew I'd end up locked away down here eventually.”

“It's not going to be for long, Henry.”

Henry nodded, “Let's hope not. So, what do I do?”

“Just try to relax first, take a deep breath. Just try to slow down your breathing before you hyperventilate.”

Henry nodded, closed his eyes and took a deep breath, filling his lungs and holding it for a few seconds before releasing it slowly, “Okay. Bring it on.”

Will leaned back against the wall and watched him, “You're going to have to help me out here, Henry. I don't know a lot about how this works. If we'd had Helen here it might be easier. Just try to...” He faltered. There were questions he should have asked before they began. He should have taken the time to do more research, convince Henry to tell Dr. Magnus what they were doing. He knew that he should stop this now, but curiosity and the likelihood that Henry wouldn't agree to try it again spurred him on. “Are you aware of the wolf all the time? Is it there now.”

Henry drummed his fingers on the underside of the chair and nodded.

“I want you to just reach for it. Try to communicate with it, if that makes sense. You don't have to let it take over if you don't want to, just let it know that you're acknowledging it.” He rubbed at an itch on the side or his face and frowned, “Is any of this making any sense?”

Henry smiled, “You really don't know what you're doing, do you?”

Will shook his head, “When I first suggested this, I thought...”

“That Doctor Magnus would be here,” Henry finished for him.

“And I don't understand why she isn't.”

Henry got to his feet and walked around the room before sitting back down and focusing his gaze on the ground between his feet, “It's complicated,” he said. “Look, you're doing fine, even if you are just blundering through. Keep going.”

Will stood up and took a step towards the door, “I want you to close your eyes,” he said, “Imagine you're somewhere you know well, somewhere you feel comfortable. Reach out to the wolf. Think about how you feel when you change. Think about how things look and sound, how they smell.”

Henry closed his eyes and allowed the sound of Will's voice to wash over him. Without even trying, he found himself following the instructions he was being given. He was in his room, laying on the bed with the door locked. To the wolf, the world was a different place. His whole life, everything he knew had come firstly from what he saw and heard. In terms of usefulness, his sense of smell was pretty far down the list. Fun, when he was tucking into his favorite foods, not so great when he came face to face with some of the less domesticated Sanctuary residents, but in general, not that important.

To the wolf, scent was everything. Its eyesight and hearing worked much better than a human's, but the world was defined by smell, everyone had their own, unique scent, easier to tell apart than their faces. Emotions too, sometimes even the slightest change was accompanied by a difference in the way a person smelled. Just like seeing the difference in someone's expression, but easier than that, more intuitive. And you didn't even have to be in the same room with them.

Even through the thick, soundproof walls, he was aware of Will. The room wasn't airtight, he could smell him, his curiosity, his excitement, his... Henry gasped as he felt the wolf rise closer to the surface, making a dash for freedom. Instinctively, he pushed it back down. His eyes remained squeezed closed as he wrestled back control for his human side. He was aware of his heart pounding in his chest, feeling every beat. He drew in as much air as he could, filling his lungs, fighting for control as the wolf tried to break free. “No!”

His eyes opened to see Will's face staring at him with concern through the window of the cell door. He could still feel the wolf, clawing restlessly at the underside of his consciousness. He ignored it.

“Are you okay?” Will asked.

Henry rubbed his hands briskly up and down his arms, shivering, “This was a bad idea,” he said.

“You were almost there,” Will told him, “Why did you stop? What happened?”

“There's no controlling it,” Henry told him, “It's not rational, it doesn't think like we do. It's just not possible for us to co-exist without fighting.”

Will shook his head, “It is,” he insisted, “There have been stories of lycanthropes for thousands of years, communities of them. Most of them aren't violent, they can live alongside human communities, among them sometimes, with no one suspecting. How could they do that if they couldn't even co-exist with themselves?”

“I don't know, Will. I just know what it was feeling when it tried to break free, and it wasn't good. Just let me out, okay?”

“We will do this, Henry. It's just going to take a while.”

The wolf was scratching at his defenses, looking for a weakness, some way to break through. Henry pushed it further down, “I'm not sure I can.” Will opened the door and Henry emerged looking thoroughly exhausted. Free of the cell, he leaned against the wall for support. “I'm not sure I even want to.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out his bottle of Valium and swallowed two without water. He ran the back of his hand along his brow.

Will passed him a bottle of water, and Henry gratefully swigged it down. “Next time...” Will said.

“There won't be a next time.”

Will sighed and took back the empty bottle of water, “I'm sorry,” he said, “I think I might have ended up doing more harm than good. But honestly, Henry, I'm sure you can do this. That fact that you didn't grow up around other people like you is getting in the way, you were probably supposed to learn this while you were a kid, but I know you'll get there.”

Henry shook his head. Exhaustion had worn down his defenses and the wolf had been given strength by its near brush with freedom. It gave one final scratch, a bid for control, and caught Henry off guard. He gripped the wall hard and shoved Will away hard.

Will staggered backwards and only narrowly avoided landing on the floor. He watched in horrified fascination as his friend's face began to morph with that of the creature. Henry looked him straight in the eye, “Run!” he said.

Will tried, but found himself rooted to the spot, unable to decide between trying for the door but running past Henry, or going in the other direction and hiding. He chose neither. “Henry. Don't fight it. Just let it happen. Let it out. Just relax, okay, don't fight.”

Henry shook his head from side to side and let out a sound somewhere between despair and frustration as he rushed back into the cell. Will staggered forwards and closed the door behind him. It was only then that his mind was able to register how much his body was shaking. He sank to the floor and sat there for a moment, eyes wide open and focused on the locked door, concentrating on his breathing, riding out the wave of unused fight-or-flight adrenaline.

When he was able to stand up, he crept to the door and looked inside. Henry was slouched on the ground, leaning against the wall. He was human, in appearance, at least. He glanced up at Will and gave a weak smile.

Will waited a moment before he opened the door again.

Henry stayed on the ground as the door opened, pressing his back against the far wall, “Are you okay?” he asked as Will stepped halfway inside.

Will nodded, “Are you?”

“I'll get back to you on that.” Henry did a mental check for the wolf. It was still there, still scratching at the back of his mind, but it was quieter now. The drugs taking effect, maybe. Or maybe not. “I stopped fighting it,” he said. “I gave it a bit of leeway, and it didn't come out. I didn't change all the way, and I was still on control. Kind of.”

“Good,” Will noticed that his voice was shaking and wondered whether it was audible. “I'm...glad.” He offered Henry a hand, which he took gratefully as he pulled himself to his feet.

“I'm sorry I scared you,” Henry told him.

“You didn't.”

Henry laughed and squeezed the hand that he has still holding before he let it go, “I know it sounds a bit like a line from a cheesy sci-fi movie, but I can smell your fear.” He winced, “Wow, it sounded even worse out loud than it did in my head. Creepy, too.”

Will smiled and turned to leave, “Are you ready to get out of here?”

Henry followed him, but paused at the door, “If you weren't too freaked out, Will, I'm thinking maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing to try it again. Just, maybe not for a while.”

Will nodded and shut the door behind them, “Maybe not for a while,” he agreed


End file.
